Friday, June 15, 2007
i can't deny that i'm a selfish person. very? maybe?
i don't like to be that way, but i can't help it.
especially towards strangers, ppl i don't know well.
everyone who is not within my "circle".
even online.
sometimes i hate typing things at forum, cos anyone can access the thread and see my message.
then they'll start asking where i get things from... which i have no inclination to share with them if they are new to the thread and i haven't seen them around before. even though the internet is like a free world and strictly speaking, whatever they asking for, i don't own. so i'll super regret typing tt msg in the first place.
and it's hard to make it into my circle.
consciously or subconsciously, i put up these barriers around me.
i treat those outside my circle as outsiders (of course), sometimes even "get lost, outsiders!" and "i don't want you here!" depending.
it takes lotsa TIME to make it into my circle, and i guess for sure, lotsa effort too.
but it works the other way round too. vice versa, for me to put down those barriers, it takes time and effort. i'm not those kind who can go around making friends easily.
acquaintances and groupmates are another topic.
a bit on groupmates. i'm ok with working with ppl i don't know (not as if i have a choice). but if they are mainly chinese-speaking. say bye bye! it's hard for me to clique with chinese-speaking ppl. they have to start speaking english! or else i dunno what to do.
and after the term, it's bye bye! too. see them in school say hi, but not really talk.
moving on, personal space is extremely important to me.
as in physically... and mentally. can't really pinpoint the mentally part, so let's just talk about physically.
i get uncomfortable when ppl stand too close to me. like in the mrt. even sitting side by side.
strangers. personal space invaded.
sometimes i have an urge to snap at them.
ahahaha.
himitsu @ 1:32 AM.
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