Monday, August 29, 2005
Let's talk about something happy first than go on to the unhappy stuff. So even if you don't read the happy part, at least read the unhappy part to help me.
Happy
Finally updated my fanfic last saturday. you dunno how relieved I felt. how glad i felt.
Thinking about it, I started this story december last yr. I've gotten 664 reviews on all the 22 chapters I've written, spanning over a total of 9 months. Whoa!!! And I still have 1 or 2 more chapters to go to tie everything up and end it. I can't believe myself!!!!!!! My longest fanfic ever.
Ahem. ok, now on to what's troubling me
Unhappy
I'm fretting over the tuition assignment I just got. Why? I keep thinking "Sian la... have to take mrt to Boon Lay and take bus. Have no idea what the family is like, have no idea how to teach, have no idea how to get there, etc." Feel like backing out. But then... "My novels!!!!!!! I want my novels!!!!! Although I can use my pocket money to buy my novels, but it would be better if I have extra money..."
And so, I continue fretting and getting really sian and depressed over it.
Conclusion: I HAVE SERIOUS COMMITMENT PROBLEMS. (at least on stuff I don't love)
himitsu @ 10:42 PM.
Sunday, August 21, 2005
Blogger is being f-king slow, I wonder why. And no. It's not my Internet problem. Everything else is working fine. In fact, now that I think about it, my browser doesn't crash for god-knows-what reasons anymore. This nice change came about some time after I installed spybot. Cheers for spybot.
Anyway, I shopped a day away today... yesterday (since it's past midnight now)
I feel so guilty.
Not because I spent a lot. I didn't spend a lot. My mum was paying for most of the things - lunch at cafe cartel (who said the portions served there was big?! that's only in the case of some orders! Grr...), coffee break at coffee club, ice-cream, and 2 precious stone pendant (50% discount, that's why I wanted 2. Couldn't decide which was nicer).
Oh manz, I feel so guilty. And she had actually given me extra pocket money this month to cover the cost of my contact lens. Think I'll give her some money for today's lunch tmr.
All that I paid for:
(1) A pair of butterfly earrings - quite big and obvious, cos both my mum and sis agreed that the big one was nicer and could be seen more easily.
(2) A freaking $34 at Kinokuniya!!! - Ok, not freaking. It was well-spent. Worth-ful. Haha. 2 jap novels and 1 manga. tongli Tactics 5 is finally out!
I was delirious when I got my hands on my Mirage of Blaze novels! Ohh... you've just got to see volume 40. It's sooooo beautiful! And thick. The thickness makes the cost of $15++ worth it. It's almost twice as thick as my $10.30 volume 20. And the bookmarks inside are soooo pretty. Lol~ xD
Darn. I really want to blog at femaletoilet, but to write 1st impressions of the 2 gals requires me to think. I can't recall how I became pals with Dawn! Lalala~ Gyaaa!!! And I don't really have time. Tons of things I've got to do, but I'm procrastinating for most of them:
(1) Translation - this I'm doing
(2) Co. law tut over the wkend
(3) I'll leave Acc2 tut to Wed and Thurs
(4) My fanfic - no inspiration, and I can only think of cliche stuff. Should I just go ahead with writing the unoriginal cliches ending????????? This task is most stressful, btw ^^
(5) Reading my novels
(6) Reading my manga - xxxholic and tactics
(7) Watch Bleach
(8) Reading my Lit novels
and the list goes on. I'm not writing anymore because the longer it gets, the more i go "sianzzzz... I'm deadddddddd..."
himitsu @ 1:05 AM.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Note the time now. Yes, it's 2:22am.
ANd what's the bloody asshole stupid thing I did? I randomly clicked on one of my MoB drama cds... only to realize after a minute of trying to figure out what they were saying... that it was the ending scene. The part where HE died. And I started crying while listening to it, meantally screaming "Noooo!!!" again.
Just what the heck is wrong with me?!
I'm forever coincidentally clicking on sad stuff that makes me cry late late LATE at night just before I go to sleep. Yes, even though crying makes your eyes tired and you'll feel sleepy after that, but the angst involved gets you turning and tossing and sighing.
Stupid me.
Btw, drama cds are... hmm... how to explain. Anime without graphics? It comes in mp3 format and you just listen to it like listening to a story. They're usually based on manga, novels, etc.
Currently, I have collected 6 cds of BL dramas (yaoi dramas) - random mix of stuff.
But it's not only yaoi series that have drama cds. Normal stuff like Fruits Basket and even Rurouni Kenshin (I just realized) has them. Only that it's harder to get normal drama cds cos I have no idea where to get them. BL drama cds are floating here and there though. Haha ^^
Besides, it's no fun listening to normal drama cds... xD
PS: My new co. law class is great, so far! Better than my previous (to me). But, ACCOUNTING 2 SUX BIG TIME. HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT. Wth am I doing in Acc??!!! I may just have the slightest regret of not taking up law. I seem to like law modules... >_<
himitsu @ 2:21 AM.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Yeshhhh!!!!!! I got a new hp!!! Samsung X640-C!!! Hahahahahaha... At first, my mum and I thought of buying 330. But luckily we didn't. She upgraded her phone for free and got X640-C. Now I'm deserting my Nokia 6610i for the new hp. Yay! Only thing is it's a little sad I can't transfer my photos over. Can I? Are they saved in SIM card? I'll have to try later. *impatiently waiting for it to finish charging*
Oh and I went to the new NLB at Bugis last Saturday. The drama centre looks cool, but it's still closed. Then there are around 7 or 8 levels of reference section - starting from level 5 or something. Classified into Biz, Arts, Singapore Studies, etc. Damn big and cool. But the problem is, since it's ref section, you can't borrow anything.
Which leaves us to only one storey of borrowing section. And it's in the BASEMENT somemore. B1.
It's so stupid!!!!!!!!
And there's only one door on the level. Meaning that you hafta endure running and noisy-like-hell kids.
Ok, maybe I made a mistake somewhere about the borrowing section... cos I was not in the best of spirits and health when I explored the place. Still can't believe it.
And I was expecting some nice cafe like the one at Woodlands Regional Library. Haha. It turned out that the cafe is situated OUTSIDE the library, and it's Hans. Seats were outside too. No aircon. Eeps.
Went for SCGS band performance at Sentosa that Sunday too. Nice nice! As I said, I wasn't in the best of moods. Weather, bad luck and all got me damn pissed. I was scolding myself for actually agreeing to go. But oh well, luckily I did go. It was really nice. Except for some of the irritating tourists who weren't really there for the performance. And those who kept walking in front of me when I was trying to take photos. Grrrrr!!!
My sis conducting for 1 of the pieces. Idiot girl kinda ran back without turning and bowing to the audience.
I'll post up pics of my CUTE CUTE CUTE little cousin next! Heehee~
himitsu @ 8:40 PM.
Friday, August 05, 2005
*sigh* Must complain about school first.
co. law -- I just changed classes so I dunno wad's gg on. It's regrettable, cos I thought the tutor for my original class was good. Sianzzz.
biz comm -- Oral presentation just sux! Written I still can bear with it, but... Gyaaa. So stressful. And I'm not the only one who finds it stressful.
acc 2 -- Bleh~ Tutor's style of teaching sux. He calls names. Bleh! And the timing of the lesson. I hate ending sch at 1830, because the bus and trains would be damn packed. Tempted to change class, but I prefer being in same class as my frenz. forget about it. since I've got 4-days wk now.
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Next up.
*tears*
HE DIED! HE DIED! HE DIED!!!
*sob*
Why?! After 400 years of struggling, 400 years of fighting, 400 years of angst, 400 years of love and hate... and it's only in THIS particular lifetime that they accepted each other... only 1 lifetime... and HE HAD TO DIE!!!!!!!!
The bits and pieces I read (someone's translation of the novel):
Breath of Rainbow
page 251
"I'm sorry I think I can't fulfill our promise."
Naoe slowly shook his head. "For me, any place that I can be with you is "misaki no ya"."
page 255
There was nothing that I want to leave you with, and nothing that you were left with. "The same with me. Even though this tears are running, I'm not sad at all. I'm not grieving to. Even though you would go, you would still live with(in) me." Naoe tenderly hugged Takaya whose conciusness started to fade.
page 257
He tried to say to Naoe that he loved him, with his breaths. "Thank you..."
When he tried to breathe in the last breath...., Naoe put his lips upon Takaya's.
Takaya put his last breath unto Naoe's chest, ....that was his last.
Damn shitty!!! I just happened to read this last night at 1+ am. I was cursing myself for not sleeping early and reading it, because I started angsting about it. I was in tears. I was screaming silently, hoping that no, this isn't the end. But I'm afraid it is. 99% confirmed.
Then I cried myself to sleep. (Not entirely true. Haha. But I was still in tears while lying in bed)
Lol~
*SOB*
himitsu @ 9:46 PM.
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Ah... if only i would stop getting so nervous for presentations, then i'll do much better. Sigh. Well, i didn't screw up too badly today, but i could have done better. Bad habits are hard to get rid of.
Money woes.
Moodswing.
Got so frustrated and sad over money stuff yesterday out of the blue. I just had to think of contact lens, jeans, handphone, textbooks, and Kino sale, and it drove me into becoming a fretting wart.
Kino sale.
I really wanna buy my novels. And if i'm not wrong, Fruits Basket 17 is out. Dammit. And what about Harry Potter? And my JLPT book?
*sigh*
*sigh for MoB*
After reading a summary on that particular volume, I get this really frustrating feeling.
Just imagine that there's this book which is so, so, so FULL of emotions (angst, love, bitterness, helplessness - at 100x level). Yes, it is THAT overwhelming. But the depressing thing is that although it's in your hands and it's right before your eyes and you own it, you don't feel the depth of the emotions as you can only understand some basic stuff.
God.
It's just like having a REAL treasure map in your hands (you know the treasure truly exists and that it is priceless), but after staring and trying hard, you still can't grasp the location of it.
Dammit.
It's saddening.
P.S. saw 3 lil kittens on my way home. mother was feeding one of them. they were sooooooo cuuuuute!!!!!! feel like cuddling them. shall look out for them when i go for theory class later. *dies of their cuteness*
*and dies of MoB angst*
himitsu @ 5:47 PM.
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