Friday, July 29, 2005
Although I haven't decided if I really would be taking 'Text and Context', I'm so glad that I didn't drop 'Contemporary Literature'.
I just bought the first novel in the syllabus today, read 2 pages of it, and I was thinking "I'm gonna love this story" already.
Written on the Body, by Jeanette Winterson
For the lines
"You said, 'I love you'. Why is it that the most unoriginal thing we can say to one another is still the thing we long to hear? 'I love you' is always a quotation. You did not say it first and neither did I, yet when you say it and I say it, we speak like savages who have found three words and worship them."
already captured my interest.
This is the kind of novel I want to read!
"Love demands expression. It will not stay still, stay silent, be good, be modest, be seen and not heard, no."
Interesting~
I love it.
himitsu @ 8:14 PM.
Monday, July 25, 2005
I'm broke~
Went shopping yesterday after jap class and bought 2 tops - one from S&K, one from ebase. S&K is having 40% off storewide, btw. Not to mention that I collected and paid $10 for my Mirage of Blaze novel. And Japanese novels are so tiny... >_<
I'm irritated and pissed~
Add/drop period starts only tmr! And there're no vacancies for "Text and Context" already. Dammit... And there's the thing about my company law class too. Why? Why?! Why is my timetable so sucky?!!
I'm depressed~
Over that sucky course I have to take still. **Sigh**
My timetable just adds on to the depression.
I'm tired~
Spent my afternoon (2 hours) searching through LJs for Mirage of Blaze novel summaries. Added them to my LJ memories to be read later - I'm just too tired to do that now.
Not to mention that it's SUPER tiring translating Loveless manga vol3 from Jap to Eng.
And of course, I still have my MoB jap novel...
I'm frustrated~
I'm so in love with MoB. I want to read the novels so badly that I'm screaming at my brain: "Why won't you interpret Japanese for me????!!!!!!" Crap. I'm really dying to read it. Sob T_T
I'm somewhat happy~
I flipped through the MoB novel series volume I just got and I was kinda surprised and happy I understood some (few. quite few. very few) parts. But basically, I already have an idea of the plot before I started reading. Stupid thing is, I can't figure out some of the names - dunno who they are, though I might know them. 'Cos their names were in Romanji in the anime. Now I'm presented with the Kanji version. But I still do recognize the main characters.
I'm confused~
Talking about Kanji... (for those who dunno what it is: Traditional Chinese characters)... I've got conflicting feelings towards it. The kanji helps me understand some parts - cos I'm Chinese, but it makes other parts confusing and troublesome to understand - I have to know the furigana/hiragana to check my dictionary for the meaning. Grr... that sucks! Esp when i can't type trad chinese on my com.
Anyway, the main point is... reading Japanese is tiring... with my limited knowledge of it. I can't lay down my dictionary at all. Bleh.
But wadeva it is, I swear to read all Mirage novels in the future :p
himitsu @ 5:02 PM.
Friday, July 22, 2005
(I'm kinda glad my reply was read, if not i would have typed it for nothing. =_= )
*~*For Her Only *~*
I've been wondering. Did you post that entry because you read one of the entries on my blog? Because I dunno where you got the idea that the 3 of us met up alot without you. I don't even remember much that we 3 met up alot. D went away on... 2 trips overseas? Ls had been working. The only times I rem are: (1) me gg out with D, and then meeting up with Ls for dinner cos she happened to be in town with her other frens; (2) S'capade. which was very very very last minute.
I mean, yes, we went out in pairs. But threesome? Not so! We didn't even have a mahjong session until recently (which was after you had that post).
Next, I don't think that any really devastating has happened in my life that I need lotsa support from my friends. So I guess that part was not really meant for me.
About "pathetic" that your presence can only be felt that way, about wishing to do more, about wishing to hang out with us more, about disliking the feeling of being neglected... the only thing i can say is, again... you can take the initiative. Maybe we are wrong to assume you were busy (even though you've always given me this impression somehow), but the least you could do is to msg us/talk to us/etc - that will let us know that you're not too busy for us and wanna go hang out.
himitsu @ 9:40 PM.
Thursday, July 21, 2005
First things first. I'm not trying to accuse anyone of anything in this entry. I just felt that I have to say what I think/feel, after reading her entry.
Yes, we used to be such good friends. Yes, we giggled about almost everything. But no, we didn’t talk about guys, our crushes. No, we didn’t confide in one another when our relationships run into problems. At least, not between me and her. Everything about her relationships, I have to hear it from somewhere else. Was I supposed to ask? When she made it seem like she wanted to keep it a secret from me?
To me, it seems like she doesn’t really like confiding in me regarding relationship stuff. I can’t blame her though. I guess she felt that I’m not one to understand relationships when I haven’t been in one myself, and afterall, a breakup is something I had never went through.*laughs* Why then, do my other friends approach me to talk about their relationships, even asking for advice?
So she isolated herself from us. Too much, she guesses… that now we are unreachable. With the advancement of technology, are we really that unreachable? Handphones turned on everyday, online at msn everyday. I have to question: “Why must WE be the ones to approach her?” Besides, isn’t she the one who is always busy? I know she has lotsa other friends, being outgoing and all - OG friends, ex-classmates, classmates, and even work and camp. That’s why I understand that she might not have time.
For one, we did consider setting up MJ session with her, only to realize that she had camp. Look, when one is the busy friend in a group, one could try taking the initiative to list out one’s free time. Or are we supposed to go up to her and ask “Are you free on this date?”, and to get the reply “Sorry, I have something on…”, only to have to replan and ask again “Then are you free on this date?”, and the cycle goes on?
Or at the very least, she can take the initiative to ask us out if she feels that we've neglected her. Then we'll know she's free and wants to meet up, and we can meet! It's not as if we'll snub her. Best friends or not, we're still friends. We won't snub her.
“No more mini gatherings, no more shopping trip, no more dinners... no more a foursome thing”. Well, the last thing I remember… we were still doing fine when we went out to celebrate the 2 idiots’ birthday. We gathered, we shopped for their presents, we had dinner to celebrate. It was indeed a foursome thing. I even had dinner with her alone, and we talked about movies!
Celebrating her birthday was a chore?! Who said that?! It was only that we had to spare a thought for laysh, and so had to eat at a vegetarian restaurant. Yes, I admit it was disappointing to celebrate her birthday at that “restaurant”. Yes, I also admit that we didn’t plan properly, having nothing to do and nowhere to go after dinner, but we ended up talking a lot, didn’t we? Yes, I admit being a cold blanket for the suggestion of karaoke, but she said she was going to pay, so I was fine with it as long as nobody forces me to sing. Honestly, I wasn’t unhappy about it.
She matters. Of course she matters, why then would we pool money and contacts to get enough money to buy that humongous Pooh Bear for her? And laysh had to carry such a big and heavy bear home, even taking public transport.
Confusing thing is: why is she dragging up such old matters? Weren’t we still fine back then?
I’m just wondering if “matters” should be in past tense now. I’m confused. I just don’t understand why she is explaining our drifting apart with things like her breakup (hasn’t she moved on?) and her birthday. If she had said “different school”, “different faculty”, “busy with schoolwork/activities”, “busy with work during the hols”… then yes, I understand better.
But how is she going to explain ignoring laysh in school when laysh said ‘hi’ to her? And she was on her handphone at that time? Is it wrong for me to pick out the implication that she is really extremely busy, too busy for us? I remember... she was the one who detest P and A most when they wiped the 4 of us out from their sec sch lives after we went into different classes.
She wasn’t forgotten. She just gave us… me… the impression that she’s too busy to bother herself with us. She says that we don’t even bother sms-ing her. But she doesn’t even bother sms-ing us too.
Of course, I do not deny that the 3 of us are partly wrong too. Both sides are always in the wrong when things don’t work out. We didn’t make enough of an effort too, we didn’t try to talk things out… So... Is it that the 4 of us are all not making an effort? Is it that there is some kind of misunderstanding between us? Or is it really really really that there is nothing more to be said between us?
himitsu @ 5:36 PM.
Saturday, July 16, 2005
Attended S'capade yesterday, an SCGS event held to celebrate the opening of the new sports complex. All current and ex SC girls were invited. I was disappointed. By many things.
1) The new sports complex is just an additionaly 2nd storey, where there were 2 more bball courts and 4 more squash courts. The old and only bball court in the past is now sheltered. That's it.
2) It was night and extremely difficult to take photos. The photos I took using Night Scene mode were so blur! I only figured out what could be the reason to it today. Apparently, using the night scene mode causes the shutter to move more slowly. So, your subject has to be still for a longer period of time. But uhm... the girls were dancing away so much when I tested the Night Scene mode on them.
3) Couldn't walk around the school at night. The security guard was breathing down our necks. Even though we took the other way to the eco pond, and he wasn't there, the thought of him discovering us and barking at us was still breathing down our necks. On the other hand, it was quite exciting sneaking around the school at night though. Too bad it was so dark. I really wanted to see the eco pond again. *sigh* And there're so many other places I wanna go back to.
4) The event sucks. I mean, there wasn't much to do. And they made it sound like a big event. Eventually, there were only 6 from our batch who turned up (including us). It was a very small-scale event. And I really dunno why we bothered paying for the tix. They don't even check. Bloody hell~
But, but, but... at least we took a photo with Ms Heng. Hee~
The time capsule! It was installed during SCGS cetenary (100th anniversary). I can't remember how our cetenary celebrations were like... @_@
3 of us outside the new squash courts
And, I just had to put this up!!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!! Girl in the photo, try killing me if you can :p
I named the above photo "Spastic". Like I said, whenever I'm depressed, I get this photo out and look at it to cure my depression. Lol!
himitsu @ 11:42 PM.
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
I was feeling so restless on Sunday night when I was about to sleep, and that restlessness continued even when I awoke on Monday morning. So I spent my whole Monday afternoon watching anime - Bleach (so cool I was fangirl-screaming most of the time), Naruto, One Piece. I was too lazy to watch Tsubasa, I wonder why. When evening came, my spirits were lifted already. ^^
Cosfest was extremely fun this year! It was so much better than last year's! So many cosplayers, booths, etc etc etc. I didn't really understand the stage performance by competitors as usual, but then the "Cosfest Idol" sang as beautifully as always. She has a nice voice! One that suits singing all kinds of Japanese songs.
One thing that bothered me is that since admission is free, there were lots of non-fans there - aunties, uncles, ah mas, ah bei. =_= Yes, I understand that admission is free so that anyone can enter, and this is a bid to promote Cosfest culture, but still... This extremely rude ah bei actually poked my arm with a roll of paper or smthg and ask me if the contestants needed to pay money to join the competition. He actually dared to poke me!!!! So I glared at him and snapped "bu yong" (chinese) and stormed away, complaining to Jye Yi.
Whatever it is, I didn't bother myself with those people sitting down the whole way through, watching the performance. I was walking from the left of the "hall" to the right repeatedly, countlessly, rushing to take photos and buying stuff - I spent $12.50 altogether.
Towards the end of the show, me and Jye followed the cue of professional photographers and stood on chairs near the stage in order to take photos of ALL the cosplayers on stage. God. The stage was so packed! ^^
Anyway, took a long time getting Cosfest 2005 photos up. Tried Zorpia but it kept coming back with the message "serve too busy". I was so pissed, so I swtiched back to photobucket. And photobucket was under maintainence last night. Grr!!! Thank god it's back on today, so I've just completed uploading photos.
One of my favourites. He's the 10th squad taichou from Soul Society, Bleach. Great, I forgot his name. Haven't seen him fight though. still waiting in anticipation.
Click on the him to view the rest of my photos slideshow mode ^.^
Some other photos include:
I was so tired at the end of the whole event, too tired to even finish dinner, AND YET I still went to watch Fantastic 4 with jin. >_<
Talking about that, there were Fantastic 4 cosplayers and Batman at the Cosfest too.
himitsu @ 2:42 PM.
Saturday, July 09, 2005
Went Bugis shopping today, but all I bought was a bag. Love the bag lots, dunno why. I'm not that very disappointed, since I still got time to shop before school reopens. Bugis village had lotsa shops in there, too many shops in fact, since I was very confused walking round and round and round, and basically I was just too lazy entering shop to shop.
Ah, the skirts I want are all so expensive. That one from Dano and that one from Pepperplus. Grrr!!! I'm into flair skirts (not the plain ones, I like those with patterns. weird motifs or whatever)
And god knows what made me change my taste recently. I AM SO ATTRACTED BY THE COLOUR BRIGHT GREEN. If you guys know me well, I've never ever been a fan of green. But recently, I find it extremely pretty! Green green green skirts and tops! Lol~ XD
I need to buy a scarf belt too. Damn. Why don't they have dark/dull purple??? *Sigh*
I'm tired. ZZZZZ...
Wanna watch BLEACH 39. zzzzz...
Forgot to add: ordered a JAPANESE NOVEL from Kino today - Mirage of Blaze 20. Hope it comes during their anniversary sale. But who knows, even if it does, they might not let me know until after the sale. =_=
himitsu @ 12:21 AM.
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
(Anime ramblings, plus some thoughts on love and death)
Guess what? I was so depressed last night that I fell asleep only at around 4a.m.
Why?
I'm so into Mirage of Blaze now. It's a yaoi series which started out as novels (total of 40 volumes) and later, an anime TV series + 3 OVAs were made. The manga is also being published.
I'm not going to describe the plot here cos I know you guys aren't interested. hmph. But it's interesting ok? Background: Japanese history, feudal lords; setting: modern time; and there're spiritual powers, spells, incantations, etc involved. Summary at my LJ (Yes, I've decided to make use of my LiveJournal account! Shall put most of my anime ramblings there ^^ Take a look! Ignore the user name. I had no knowledge of Japanese at that time. Wanted to use "blue wings" which should be "aoi tsubasa", but someone told me "blue wings" is translated to be "aoi no tsubasa". Wrong wrong wrong! That's "Wings of Blue". Nvrmind... =_= )
Ok, more on my thoughts instead. What you have to know is that the relationship between the 2 main characters is quite complicated. They are obsessed over this winning/losing thing. (Kagetora is a warlord. Naoe, his servant) Kagetora loves to win, to be worshipped by Naoe, yet he doesn't want to give Naoe anything back in return. This drives Naoe insane. He'll do anything for Kagetora, including raping and killing the woman Kagetora loves.
[Impt note: the characters are able to perform a ritual when they're dying so that their soul can possess another body. That is to say that they don't die. They keep on changing shells. And they've been doing it for 400 years.]
I think they drive each other crazy. They love to mock at each other's weakness (with Naoe losing usually. And losing drives Naoe insane too. Cos he has to win Kagetora in order to obtain Kagetora). It's basically a love so intense that it's to the point of desperation, self-destruction, destruction of others, insanity, obsession, hatred and pain. And it's 400 years worth of it. Yet, they are unable to let each other go. And in comes betrayal, depression, emotional breakdown, attempted rape, death, sacrificing etc etc etc. You get the hang of it. It's just so intense that it blows me away.
Is it possible to love someone so much for so long that the love starts to become twisted?
The reason why I couldn't sleep last night was because I read this translation of the novel vol 11 about someone dying. Life and death separation is so scary. When I was young, death was scary because you don't know where you'll go after you die, and because the notin of dying is all dark and ominous. Yet, I understand now that the scary thing in death is (1) you don't get to do what you've always wanted to do anymore; (2) utter separation from your loved ones; (3) the finality of it all. It ends there. Nothing more, nothing less. Just gone.
Whatever words you want to/have to/need to say to your loved one, you'll never have the chance to do so ever again.
Vol 11 was on Naoe's death. Point is: he is unable to repossess another body as he has lost his powers. He died in order to protect Kagetora. At first he had wanted to end it all by dying (even asking Kagetora to kill him), but just when he realized he wanted to live, he died for Kagetora. Damn. It was so sad that I cried. I was thinking "See? Why can't you two just make things simpler by loving each other in a simpler way?"
Regret is a horrible feeling to possess. It's a scar, it's a burden, it's somewhat eternal.
*sigh* Then today, I realized that Naoe is not really dead. Seems like he came back, but he seems to have betrayed Kagetora. Ok, so Kagetora is now sinking into emotional despair again.
Damn. It's terribly angsty.
I wanna read the novels... but they're in Jap. And i wonder how much they cost. Myabe I shall ask Kino if they have them... ^-^
himitsu @ 1:23 PM.
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
I went shopping for the whole day today. Tired~
Bought a pair of bloody jeans for $50. Sorry, just had to add "bloody" in, since it's a "bloody" $50. Haha! It has some sequins on it... think it's quite nice. But since there are sequins on it, I don't think I can wear it so often since it'll be so obvious I'm wearing the SAME pair of jeans for days... lol.
I'm planning on buying more skirts!!! Saw a skirt today that I really like that cost $49. Damn. I need money! I was so tempted to buy it, but decided to think it over, whether it's worth the money. Shall ask laysh for her opinion this Fri. It's from Dano... there are many branches islandwide so it's kinda convenient.
Didn't get any tops though. Shall look for tops on Friday as well.
Got a pair of earrings that were quite ex. But the beads/stones used were from Italy and whatsoever so... it's really nice. Got a bracelet too... swar-blah-blah crystals + japanese beads. I wanted to get this one where the transparent beads/crystals are tinged with bright green in the center. It's really beautiful and unique!!! But sadly, it was kinda big for my wrist. *SOB* T_T So I got the other smaller one...
Hmm... I'm spending too much >_<
himitsu @ 9:40 PM.
Sunday, July 03, 2005
Walked past the food fest at Parco today. The stalls look very interesting, but there were just too many people! So, I didn't buy anything. I hate squeezing and queueing. And there was this little girl walking behind me with her dad guiding her from her back. She kept kicking my heel and I got so irritated! Ok, I know I'm being mean since she's only a little girl and her dad should be the main culprit, but I hate people stepping on my feet most. Grr!!!
I don't like kids anyway. They're noisy. And I absolutely hate noise. I can't condone noise, unless I'm the one responsible for it. Haha.
But then again, my 7th aunt just returned to Singapore from Beijing with my little cousins! Wait... they're not very little anymore. The boy, Darren, is a monster. Well, to my sis, at least. He LOVES her a lot and pesters her non-stop to play with him, and when he plays, he gets so violent. Sigh. How ungentlemanly. He better watch it, or else he won't stand a chance as one of my sis's potential suitor in the future! HAHAHAHA!!!! Hey, he really likes her lots ok? Sticks to her like bees to honey. He's a little afraid of me though. Lol~ but I don't do anything to him. Don't accuse me of being a meanie >_<
His little sister, Stephanie (Stephie for short), is cuter! But she has grown quite alot too. And you know, the more you grow up = the less cute you get. But to me, she's just like a little princess. I think she's quite vain (probably due to my aunt spoiling her much). But she's still extremely cute. She seems to be throwing these haughty princess looks around. Haha! When I first stepped into my grandma's house, she stared at me (new look around, that's why). Yeah, so in between her princess looks, there are these curious "Hmm... who's this?" looks. Oh but when she smiles and laughs, it's totally different!!! Gyaaaa!!!!!!! Kawaiiiii~ ^__^ (I think she looks cuter with shorter hair though. Her hair's pretty long now.)
I'm planning to take some photos of them with my digicam next Sunday, so watch out for those photos! Of course, I need to enlist my sister's help to do that. XD
There's a cosfest at Downtown East next Sunday too. I just can't wait! There's gonna be Loveless cosplay... I think!
himitsu @ 11:21 PM.
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